katacomm.jpg To start today I would like to wish my Kumce Kata a very Happy Birthday!!!  Should of wrote it yesterday but a little busy.  So I decided to let Niko decide on his own Birthday this year.  After pondering the choices he decided a boys sleep over would last the longest.  The boys started arriving at 4:30 on Saturday.  There were supposed to be nine in total but we ended up with six.  To my utter shock they were great, boys really don’t need much, PSP, Nintendo DS, Gameboy, Play Station 2 and Wii and they were set.  Besides kyboshing the attempted wrestle mania they were fantastic.  Boys are pretty low maintenance, just leave them alone with pizza, pop, chips and candy and they are fine.  The evening was perfect until 3:00 in the morning when I put in a movie for the final two and fell asleep.

So my “seka” Teta Nena, is dropping Marko off at the party and Anda, yes Anda asked her ’sta ce te ti i Joza radit veceras bez Marka’  I guess Anda does not know Irene well because that is not the type of question you ask her unless you want an honest answer.  Most people would say of I don’t know not Teta Nene she says we are going to a pub then I rented a movie then we are going to have sex, yes to Anda.  At that moment I prayed an earthquake would swallow me up into the ground.

So I found out today that one of my recent antics can be compared to a Seinfeld episode.  The episode where Elaine sends out Christmas cards with a photo of  herself not knowing her nipple is showing.  This weekend “Fab at Forty” was showing one of her friends the pics from New York and the girl pointed out that my nipple was showing in one of the pics.  Sylvia dared me to blog about myself, well of course I will admit I had noticed the pic before but had hoped that nobody else would.  Needless to say there is no attachment of this pic on my blog because with my luck it would end up in Glas Centar.

fredskidsparis.jpg First, great news today from Paris.  Fred’s kids are spending March Break in Paris, I remember March Break as a kid and it was not in Paris.  Tessa went to the doctors and got a clean bill of health.  They are on their way to a Castle two hours outside of the city to spend the night.  The closest I got to a castle on March Break was going to the Center.

All of us that are married to Boaters know about the Boater Conspiracy Theory.  They are convinced that everything that goes wrong is somehow the governments fault.  The Tsunami was the “Americanci” testing a missile and “Sida” is population control and I am sure you can all give endless examples of other theories.  Today I heard the best one, I was talking to a friend this morning who had told her father that she had been at Whole Foods and he said that “Nasi Ljudi” opened the store in Oakville because they are slowly poisoning the rich Christians in Oakville because “nji ima pre vise” and “Nasi Ljudi” are trying to take over.  If you know our family then you should know what code word “Nasi Ljudi” if for.  PS…   it does not mean Croatians.

Feel free to comment back on your own Boater Conspiracy theories….

With no excuses, even I am dissapointed in myself for ignoring my Blog.  Good news, I have upgraded, I am spending $7.99 USD per month for your entertainment enjoyment.  I have more memory space so all my pics will stay in memory, I really feel bad for the newbies who go back to read from the beginning and can’t see any pics.  If I have to go to a new level I may sell clanske carte!!!

Hope everyone had a great Easter, we had the Newman’s over and Victor even bought a new tie for the occasion.  I was a little dissapointed that only Teta Anda got flowers but hey who am I to complain.  Maybe someone should have brought me flowers as they were enjoying my Paprika Juha and two kinds of salata, my contribution to the meal.  I either cook or Anda cooks, there is no room to mix my ideas with her Janjetina !!!

Fab at Forty decided to treat everyone with a $80 bottle of Grgic Hills wine which Victor said wasn’t worth it and Anda added Coke to it to turn it into a $80 BAMBUS.  God Bless us peasants.  Niko was a little sick and my husband is a Communist so Ante and I were off to mass that must have had at least 20 kids under the age of 2.  They are sooooo cute at that age, I think I may have felt a little tingle in my “Maternica”, why do I have to carry the baby, can’t someone just donate a newborn to me.

dsc01199.JPGThis week is Family Birthday week at our house.  Yesterday Steve’s daughter Nadia turned 3, seven years ago my little angel Niko was born and it is our sister-in-law Danjela’s B-day today. 

So, I get up and do my usual routine this morning then I open my hotmail to find 36 messages in my inbox, my junk is a seperate folder.  I opened up the mail to find the Alilovic seke arguing with Vrlic and John Alilovic.  Girls a piece of advice don’t argue with Alilovic, he will always have the last word and you have balls arguing with Vrlic, he is your only family member with a house on the more.  I would be very nice to Vrlic or it will be long hot visits to Ljubuski.

I saw my Ante’s Kuma Ana last night, she is 4 months pregnant and I asked to see her baby bump.  I am surprised she didn’t fall over backwards trying to create a gut to look pregnanat.  Ane, it’s good to know that like Jagoda you will start showing around 7 months, these two take the cake on the best looking pregnant women I have ever seen.  Yes, I am jealous.  Wow Ane, you have won two of my awards, best wedding dress and now best pregnancy.  I know, I love you to.

Off to the Grocery Store to buy meza for Niko’s party tonite, will be back later today, I promise……

Good Friday started with a Seafood (yuk) lunch at Besty’s house, Besty, BFF (ella), Andrea and I proceeded to depart for Put Kriza at Norval and the left the boys at home with their fathers and too many bottles of wine.  The walk was great because it was pretty warm in the sun, plus it helped that every 50m somebody complimented me on my fabulous bangs, just an update, this week I got them trimmed.  The biggest complement came from Susie Alilovic, the best kudos always come from a hairstylist.  Congrats to Susie on the coming of baby #3.  It was quite funny that my Besty was at Norval doing the walk but we didn’t see the The Grammar Nazi who credits herself for being such a Center Nazi.

Next stop the Newman Ranch for Victor (Vidaks) annual Good Friday Fish Fest.  “Mapparently” he tried to cancel but Marica insisted that he hold tradition.  Dinner was great and God Bless Teta Nancy who made sure to complement me on my bangs every half hour on the hour.  I think everyone is curious about the blog because I kept mentioning it.  These family gatherings are always fun because we learn new things.

Marica couldn’t wait to drag me out for a cigarette to tell me how during her 12km put kriza pilgrimage in Oakville she was transported in a Limo from one church to another by no less than the manager of Oakview Funeral Home.  Well I am sure it took her less that 1 km tell him what a fan she is of his business, she complemented him on the new fasada on the outside of the home.  He told her that the third station of the cross just happened to be in front of Oakview and if she needed to tinkle to come on in.  Marica’s dream to be hit on by a Funeral Home Manager.

I have to go to work for a couple of hours, if only this blog paid but log on later because I am going to reveal a family secret concerning Drunk Danijela, even though she threatened me!!!

Happy Birthday to Teta Mirjana Knezovic

Happy Easter to Marina in Florida

I remember the days when you couldn’t wait to get up on Easter morning and get that horrible tasting 1 pound .99cent solid bunny that came in a plastic bag that Fred would save and auction off 3 months later and I would bid on it, freezer burn and all.  For breakfast I would eat a hard boiled egg that was boiled in onion peels that was slightly brown in order to feel that we colored eggs.  I always envied my Canadian friends that actually got to color eggs. 

What the f%ck happened, today I was out buying Kinder Eggs and other chocolate shaped as super heros that ended up costing me $60.  That was for just for kids at church.  For my own kids that would not appreciate the chocolate I was out buying Webkinz and for Max, for Ela and Julia I purchased Hanna Montana wigs and lip glosses for others.  Maybe my mom was smart $5 on chocolate and free onion peels for coloring eggs.

Maybe the kids aren’t the problem, it’s us stupid parents that have raised the bar.

Tune in tomorrow for the new “ASKAUD” link where I will discuss new products that I have tired.

sexcity.jpg The big day is approaching, not Dan Drzavnost, not Besty’s wedding anniversary, it’s the premiere of the Sex and The City Movie.  The other day I discovered that the best show ever made is on  everyday from 12-1 pm and 9-10 pm on Cosmo TV.  I guess I can get our my box set but it is always fun to be surprised by the next episode they air on TV. 

sjp3.jpg  Anybody who knows me knows I am just a tad obsessed with the show and would go to the other side for Carrie Bradshaw, oh yeah and Doris Dragovic.  It took SJP 18 months to get the other girls to do the movie and now rumor has it they have inked part 2.  Can’t wait to see what is happening with the girls since we last saw them.

sjp2.jpg Hold on to your carape ladies, I am going to rent out a private theatre in Toronto to watch the movie.  As soon as I get more details I will let everyone know.  We will need a minimum amount of ladies but it should not be a problem since it is the Best Show ever written.  (don’t know if I mentioned that I am a teeny bit obsessed with SJP)  I will find out if we can have Cosmo’s during the show.  More details to follow.

madge.jpg  Rumor has it that the Queen and her hubby (what’s his name) have split.  Last night I heard her new duet with JT and Timberland, loved it.  Ok fine, I love everything Madge does.  Not to fear Madge turns 50 this August and has a body of 18 year old our girl will bounce back.

img_3999.JPG Just a quick Shout Out to Matt Granic who is working in India for six weeks and Marija who is Modeling in Italy.  Matt, javi se…….

hallea.jpg Halle Berry gave birth to a baby girl yesterday, how fair is it to look this good pregnant.  Imagine how cute the baby is with a gorgeous mother and a model for a father. 

jlo.jpg Out for the first time since the birth of their twins, JLo and the “muppet”  looked tired.  I bet my last PESO that she had some Lipo done right after the birth of her twins because two weeks ago she was pushing 240.

nicolerichie.jpg Once a ‘lollipop’ always a ‘lollipop’, how is it possible to be this thin ten minutes after giving birth.  Rumor has it Hollywood stars lie about their due date by one month to be induced by 8 months and skip that disgusting last month of weight gain and bloating.  Not a bad idea, I wonder if we could do that in the real world.

julija.jpg  I arrived at ‘Baby Marija’s’ Birthday party on Saturday, late of course because after sitting on my ‘FAT’ ass for 3 months it is time to begin working again.  You know my ass is getting fat because Goran has come up with what he thinks is a new cute little nickname “my little elephant”.  We know have a complete gym in our garage so now I have a new spot to put down my coffee cup beside my ashtray.  Back to the party, I couldn’t wait to see my sweet Kumce and get a great big hug and kiss…  What the F%ck, as soon as she saw me she told me to go away, go home and get lost.  At first I thought it was cute and kept going back to see if she had softened up but it was the same response every-time.  This really hurts since children always love me.  Before I left I gave it one more shot and told her that if she wasn’t nice Kuma would blog about her, well here it is complete with a pic of her new attitude.

Age has no bearing when it comes to my blog, don’t mess with Teta Aud because I will come back and get you on the Blog.  I guess from now on I will always carry my camera to get those shots that are better buried.

The man in the Riddle is NOT Goran……